Sean and Jess Move to NYC

As most folks do when they move to a very new and different place, Sean and I have been talking about things we miss about Alaska, and the things we don’t miss, and the things we love about living here in Brooklyn, as well as the things we love not-so-much.

Here’s a list of some that I can think of, mostly for my own amusement. This will probably be a boring blog.

Things I Miss:

• YOU, dear friends and family,
• The kitties we left behind (big wuvs and kisses to them)
• Jackie’s Diner in Spenard
• The Bear’s Tooth, also in Spenard
• Having a car (sometimes)
• Knowing where to find certain things, like that certain face lotion I use that only The Natural Pantry carries,
• Knowing which direction is North
• Knowing what the boundaries of my state look like
• Knowing my way around, without having to refer to a map
• Having an income …

Things I Don’t Miss:

• The short, dark, dreary days
• The snow: shoveling it, scraping it off my car, getting stuck in it
• Having a car (them puppies are expensive, the subways here are so terrific: in fact, NYC is the only city in the nation where the greater portion of its population relies on the subways and bussing system - something like 79%, if I’m remembering correctly)
• Shag carpet & ugly architecture
• Ignorant rednecks
• Conservative politics

Things I Love:

• Sidewalks that you can actually walk on!! I actually enjoy walking now; there’s always something interesting to see
• Subways (see above)
• Brownstones, high ceilings, wood floors
• All the new birds to see!
• People watching - esp. people with different languages/accents/backgrounds than I was used to seeing in AK.
• Accessible historical landmarks that are older than 75 years, and are about something other than Alaska history (not to diss AK history, but, well, I’ve been there, done that: this is new to me, at least, to be able to see an actual Civil War memorial)
• Accessible world-class art museums with exhibits of paintings that make me cry
• Recycling!!!

Things I Hate:

• Not having control over the heat in the apartment (central heating via boiler/radiator)
• Not knowing where the hell some of our mailed boxes are — it’s been over 4 weeks!!
• Having to shop logistically (i.e. can I carry this on the subway and up 3 flights of stairs)
• The Busses - they’re kind of scary because it’s harder to tell if I’m getting on the right one
• Not having laundry in our apartment building
• Worrying about whether I’m being tidy enough so the roaches won’t discover our place … one month so far and we’re OK …
• Worrying about the other scary bugs we might encounter once summer rolls around
• Worrying about dealing with the heat once summer comes around
• Worrying about dealing with increased sun exposure once summer comes around
• Worrying, worrying, worrying … but hey … it’s something to do while looking for jobs. Everyone needs a hobby.

OK - I’m done for now - Sean’s come into the bedroom and is harassing me and the kitties and I think we will soon go out for dinner. Hopefully one of us will post a far more exciting blog in the near future.

Oh! As a teaser - we’re considering dusting off the old podcast microphone for some new-n-improved podcasty-goodness … stay tuned ….

Another retroactive update for all you fans of old news out there … all three of you.

Anyone who has done a major move will understand what a nightmare it can be. Even if you’re an experienced mover, there are always little hitches that wind up surprising you. Add to that the stress of leaving much-loved friends and family as well as leaving a state which both of us had called home for most of our lives, and compound that for me by not having my dearest Sean there to comfort me and lend a hand with the last of the packing and you will have a good idea of how crappy and messed up my emotional state was during those last two weeks of October. Oh, and did I mention that it was really busy at the place where I was working, so I felt compelled to stay as long as possible? I worked longer than I should have; I really did not have the time to spare, but hey, I was making money and I knew I’d be unemployed soon enough, which was incentive enough. Also, I’m kind of an avoider … but aren’t we all with onerous tasks?

So after Sean left, I set about packing up and getting rid of all the rest of our stuff. This turned out to be way more of a job than I anticipated, which of course is always the case. I was amazed at how much crap both of us had, it just never seems like one has that much stuff until one has to actually pack it and move it. I tried to get rid of a lot of things: I got rid of close to half of my books, I got rid of clothes, I got rid of kitchen crap and nick-nacks, games, stuffed animals … I thought I was being relentless in my tossing of belongings … I gave boxes and boxes of stuff to various charity places … but still: our little house was breeding more and more belongings to deal with from every corner.

Terrifying. So, even though I thought I had got a lot done (I thought) I suddenly found myself facing down the last week of October with way much more stuff to get rid of than anticipated.

First off: we had crappy luck with getting rid of stuff, we had some folks who were willing and able to buy a few things off of us, but not quite as much as we had expected. Who’d have thought: the rest of the folks we know in Anchorage have just as much stuff as we had and did not need any more things clogging up their homes. We tried to get rid of some things on Craig’s list, but people on there seemed to flake out on us all the time. Then, after Sean left I had every intention of continuing to get rid of stuff on Craig’s list, only to discover I felt weird about inviting strangers into my home when he wasn’t there. Go figger. Anyway, long story short (too late) it was the last weekend in the place and I still had MOST OF OUR FURNITURE!!! And of course, when faced with daunting obstacles such as getting rid of a house-full of crap in less than a week I rose to the occasion by freaking out and going kind of numb. Somehow, I kept going. Frequent calls to Sean bawling my head off kept me somewhat sane. Now, I don’t want folks going, “Oh, Sean should have done more stuff before he left,”  Yeah, we know that. He did do a lot of stuff before he left, but neither of us realized what a huge job it was going to be.

So here’s the part where I thank some people in particular. A lot of folks helped, but I would not have made it through those last two weeks without Kimi and Karen … I can’t say enough about how helpful and encouraging those two were. They were the in-house crew who helped pack, kept me fed, kept me going with encouragement, they did crappy tasks for me that I should have gotten done a long time before … they kept me sane. Thank you!! Did I mention Lisa and her indentured servant boy? They helped me go through the cupboards, cleaning out the spices and all those other things people tend to forget about until the last minute; plus, they bubble-wrapped the hell out of some very special keepsakes.  Also, in the arena of transporting all the taking-up-space-in-the-house-so-I-could-not-think-stuff like bulky tables and chairs, dressers, etc. — Deanna and Donovan took so many loads of stuff to donate, I can’t remember how much stuff they helped me get rid of!! Chelsea and Sam and Kim W. were also always stopping by, even though they were very busy, offering to take a load of garbage away or a bag of stuff to Salvation army, or just to move a few boxes for me or give me an ‘atta girl!!’ It was very encouraging to have folks just stopping by to say hey, I only have a few minutes, but can I help you get rid of anything? I know I’m forgetting people, I know Garry and Amber helped move some stuff when I depserately needed help, my sister Jen did a fabulous job cleaning my bathroom (bless her) Diane helped pack a bunch of books even though she was practically dying from cat allergies. Then there were the folks who mailed stuff for us …

Oh. My. Gosh. You all helped so much.

This whole time, however, just really really sucked, because my heart was all hurty and sad. While I was grateful for the help, and even more grateful for the company, I had a really hard time with the emotional aspect of the move. There was a part of me that wanted to send everyone away, because each time I said goodbye to someone who was helping me pack something or clean something or get rid of something I wondered if it was the last time I’d see them for a long time. Those last two weeks turned into this big, seemingly endless goodbye, and I just ached. There was also a part of me that felt bad to ask for help, even though I know that’s kind of silly. I am not a person who asks for help easily, and I almost felt ashamed at how much help I needed. It was a rather humbling experience.

Thankfully, I was able to stay in the place a few extra days because the landlord hadn’t rented out the place yet. I was able to really clean it up, getting all the nails out of the walls, vacuuming, even was able to use Sean’s Mom’s super-fantastic carpet-cleaner!! We got almost our entire deposit back - they just held back $75 because I wasn’t able to get to cleaning the oven. Not too shabby.

After I was out of the house, I and the cats stayed with Karen in her guest room. She let me kind of take over her basement so I could sort through the things I hadn’t been able to sort through yet, I even got to use her paper shredder, which ROCKED!!! :) I must get me one of those. I was kind of numb after the move, and I kept pretty quiet for a few days, but these wonderful food smells kept emanating from the kitchen and I would get coaxed out for some of Karen’s wonderful ziti or cake or … port!! Of course, she didn’t cook the port, but oh man … good stuff.

When I think back on the whole experience, it’s with mixed feelings. It makes me feel so wonderful to have such good friends who really came to my rescue. On the other hand, it made the leaving all the more difficult … going to a new city and knowing that we won’t be able to see those friends as often as we’d like. It sucks.

So, to all our friends back in AK … we miss you, and we’re discovering all sorts of cool places to show all of you when you come to visit. Hope that will be soon!!

Yeah, I’ve been remiss in updating this here bloggy-thingamabob.  I’ve just been kind of busy with the packing and moving and fighting off the creeping-crud that had me laid out in bed for nearly three days once I finally arrived in Brooklyn on the 19th.

I just wanted to give an update as to how all the kitties are doing: both those we had to find new homes for, and those we took to New York with us.

Happily: both Gabby and Iris are doing wonderfully at their new homes!! Not that I was really worried, but still, there was a part of me that illogically believed that nobody could possibly provide a better home for them because LOVE CONQUERS ALL —which, if you’ve seen Romeo and Juliet, you know is a load-o-crap.

Gabby is blossoming at Diane’s place. She is the only cat, and she is adored by and adoring of her new mommy. I was able to see Gabby at Diane’s a few times before I left, and she reminded me of the kitty she was when I first got her. She was still shy, but not frightened. She was coming out to meet and visit with people, and Diane has actually gotten her to start playing again. Last I saw Gabby she was happily rubbing her face upagainst every possible surface: “loving” the bookshelf, the ottoman, the shoes, the chair … so much love in a silly little Siamese cat, and such progress within a few weeks’ time!!

Iris, too, is doing really well. I was right about my former coworker Jerry being a great cat owner. During the last few weeks of work, he would regale me with tales of Iris’s antics, which included a marked increase in incidences of Iris chasing her tail and “rrreeowwwrrring” like a mad-kitten, just for fun. She got back into her habit of dragging her “bird” toy around the house like a mighty hunter and hiding it under cushions or chairs. The best part, in my opinion, is that she finally started sleeping on the bed with Jerry. I guess she shied away for a long time: she’d go up to say “hi” but would always go off to sleep in a closet or downstairs on the couch. This habit was developed by long years of being the low cat in the pecking order. None of the cats would tolerate Iris sleeping on the bed, except Gabby, and even she would often chase poor Iris away. I am *so* glad she is finally the only cat and can have her choice of TWO adoring owners to sleep with.

As for the terrifying twosome, Marv and Emma, they are doing very well too. They managed the trip to New York much more easily than anticipated. We figure it might have had something to do with the interim time I spent at our friend Karen’s place. They got a brief introduction to the concept of “Sometimes Mommy shoves us in a box and takes us to a strange new place where things smell different but it’s OK because nothing bad happens.” So even though I imagine all the strange smells and scary sounds of being on the airplane and around strange, barking dogs was not fun for them, they spent virtually no time hiding once we got to Brooklyn. We let them out of their cages, and they readily ate some food and drank some water, then set about exploring their new home (after a quick trip to the litter box, that is).

So really, out of all the possible horrible scenarios I imagined for the cats, it turns out everything worked out for the best. I still really miss Iris and Gabby — still get a bit choked up about missing them, in fact — especially when I really want a snuggly cat to go to sleep with. Iris and Gabby both love to cuddle. But still, I am happy that they were both placed in such good, loving homes.

OK, that’s it for now. I have stuff to do in my new home town.

w00t!

As most of you probably already know, Sean and I have had to make a difficult decision regarding our cats. We have four, but we decided that it would be in the best interest of everyone involved to find new homes for two of them.

Not to be melodramatic, but it was one of the hardest choices I’ve had to make in a long time. I’m one of those pet owners who feels very strongly that if you choose to take on the responsibility of owning a pet, you should be prepared to have them for as long as they live. The trouble was: two of our cats were just not that happy. Iris and Gabby both get kind of picked on by the other two cats, plus, they don’t even care for each other very much. We’ve tried and tried, including putting one of them on anti-depressants, but the tensions just have not eased over more than two years, and their unhappiness has led to some behavioral problems (including peeing on the bed, which is a whole hellovalotta not-fun to deal with). We knew the move would be stressful, too, and that it’d be exacerbated by having more animals. Marv and Emma absolutely love each other, so they can be of comfort to each other, but Iris and Gabby would have been left out; the combined stress would have likely led to even more issues and fighting and hissing and chasing and hiding. We just couldn’t do that to them.

So, we decided it would be best to find new homes for Iris and Gabby. We actually decided this about two weeks ago, but I haven’t been able to blog about it until now without bursting into tears. Gabby just went to her new home last night, and even though it was really hard, I feel like it is the right decision. Gabby is now living with her new mommy, our dear friend Diane. We feel it will be a perfect match, because Diane is so gentle and patient, and Gabby is really shy at first around new people. In fact, Diane was one of the few people Gabby would actually come up to and sit on whenever people came over to visit, so we already knew Gabby felt comfortable around her. I just read a quick blog Diane posted this a.m., that Gabby had done some exploring last night after we left and Diane had gone to bed — she even hopped up on the bed and gave Diane a few head-butts before hopping back down to explore again. It makes me feel good to know she’s in a place where she can be the only cat, and not feel threatened by the others. It is still hard to think of her as not being my kitty anymore, but if it has to be like this, I really don’t think we could have found a better place for her. Plus, I have the added bonus of having given her to a friend who I’m sure will keep us updated on how she’s doing.

We’ve actually found a new home for Iris, too. Jerry, a guy I work with, has been looking for a new cat for he and his son for a while. Their long-time cat died about a year ago, and they’ve just recently started feeling like they were ready for a new one. They’ve been looking around at the shelter and various cat-rescue places, but once he found that we had a cat we were looking to find a new home for, he started asking about Iris. The more I talked with him, the more I realized he’d be a really terrific match for her: he’s a total cat-fan, and he loves cats with fun, companionable personalities who are chatty and playful — which is exactly the sort of cat Iris is. Plus, he does not already have other animals, which was ideal: Iris has been the low kitty on the totem pole for too long. She is the sweetest most adorable creature, but whenever one of the other cats was around, she’d wind up getting picked on until she would slink off to hide. When she’s able to be by herself and play and have fun, she just shines. So, we’re probably going to move Iris over to Jerry’s this weekend. I think giving Iris up will be even harder for me than giving up Gabby: Iris and I have always had this special connection, I just adore her.  But as I said, Jerry really seems like he’d be the perfect owner for a cat like Iris, and if she’ll be in a place where she can play and relax and not feel picked on and be the sole recipient of the adoration of two cat-fanatics … well … that’s what I have to keep remembering.

Dammit, I totally adore these cats. It kills me to be giving two of them away. It’s made the move just that much harder, thinking of losing them. Knowing you’re making the right decision doesn’t always make things any easier. Time is the only thing that can do that.